I think it is safe to say that the opposite outlook is taken by the older generation.
I find myself having more and more conversations with people who are trying to find a way to break it to their parents that they are going to be living with their significant other with no matrimonial intentions in sight.
Would they rather we all tie the knot for better or for worse? It's just not that generation any longer.
We are the generation of taste testers. The generation of options and careers and travel. Jumping up and moving across the country or the world is a viable option for so many of us. Marriage just seems like something for old people ready to settle down.
Understandably, many parents and older relatives do not want to hear about young couples living together. But what about the obvious cost savings associated with such a choice? Especially for people who have moved somewhere together?
Let's be honest here. If you're dating someone, odds are you are spending most of your time at his or her house anyhow. And I know that parents want to keep up the lovely facade that you only see one another in a chaperoned group on Sunday afternoons. But that is most likely not the case, and deep down they know it.
So why do they make us feel guilty for wanting to live together?
Now, I am not campaigning for a slew of 19 year old college kids to move in with their significant others. But if two intelligent people who obviously get along are both out of school and working doesn’t it make sense for them to live together? Especially if they have moved somewhere together or don’t know many people in their area.
A single apartment, ANYWHERE, averages no less than $700 per month. Then throw in the cost of parking, cable, internet, electric, water and groceries. That is more than $1,200 a month that could be split down the middle. Add in little things like car insurance, car payments, student loans, credit card bills and just the general cost of living, and you’ve got a pretty hefty financial burden being demanded of a young 20-something just out of college with a pathetically low salary at an entry level job.
PARENTS. You are costing your financially independent (and therefore struggling) children more than $10,000 a year in frivolous costs.
Sure, sure – they could live with a random roommate. But what are the odds of THAT working out. Some people are lucky (such as me – xoxo Petra&Olive!) but I’ve also heard horror stories about people who move in with nut jobs or even just with people they don’t mesh with. This isn’t college anymore. We have careers and busy, busy lives and the last thing a struggling young professional needs to worry about is what to expect once they get home from a hectic day at work.
So what is the answer? Who knows. Because when it comes down to it, a lot of families are not going to budge on this issue. And a lot of young adults are going to have to find a way to pay for the cost of keeping their parents and relatives happy.
"We are the generation of taste testers. The generation of options and careers and travel. Jumping up and moving across the country or the world is a viable option for so many of us. Marriage just seems like something for old people ready to settle down."
ReplyDeleteso maybe this is the problem. I think we all have aunts and uncles and cousins living in all different parts of the country at this point so this isn't exactly new to our generation, but what exactly is the problem with marriage? why do we date someone for two years, get bored, and look for something new? there seems to be less value placed on "settling down" with a significant other at this point.
now, if there are serious compatibility issues there is no need to settle down into marriage. but most studies ive seen show that divorce rates for people that lived together before marriage are pretty similar to people who didn't live together before marriage. If you are planning on moving with someone to a new part of the country, though, that would seem to me to indicate a pretty strong level of commitment. if you are going to move someplace entirely new with someone, why wouldnt you get married?
otherwise, it makes just as much sense to make a good friend while you are down there, and once you are comfortable enough (platonically) to make the decision to move in with that friend. because the choice doesnt have to be to either live with people you dont know and have never met vs. your significant other.
i guess this is all a long way of saying that we want the benefits of marriage (co-habitation, saving money) without having to actually make the commitment of the institution, and this sort of makes me sad