Zeroing in on 2011

There is a moment while I am driving home where I fly past some trees that always make me think I’m getting pulled over. Not because the trees are shaped as cop cars, but because the sun is always perfectly positioned behind them to make it look as if a cops lights are going off so close behind me that he couldn’t possibly be pulling over anyone but me.

The sun seems different here. Closer in a way, or just brighter I suppose. It’s really the clouds that make the difference. The sky is always so blue and the clouds somehow manage to catch the light of the sun and the water to create a wonderful shade of orange and blue that makes me feel as if I’m in a movie scene.

New Year’s Eve was a disaster this year. Although a good way to start a year of working toward zeros. Sticking to my newly discovered workaholic tendencies I decided to work an event at the aquarium. I figured, hey two birds with one stone. I’ll get to drink for free and see the aquarium then get out in time to meet up with some people downtown to bring in the new year. WRONG.

Drinking was possible but futile because I was climbing stairs all night long carrying giant sandwiches to feed to the increasingly intoxicated masses. And this was a site to be seen in itself because this party was one of the more expensive in town and black tie at that but everyone in attendance seemed to be under 22 years old. Honestly a lot of them seemed to be under 21. They were all wearing ball gowns and tuxedos and puking all over the aquarium. At one point the project manager ran past me and said “Oh God, there is puke everywhere out there.” In another eventful turn several of the guests decided to remove some of the animals (turtles) from their displays and race them on the (very sticky) floor of the party.

Security was called. As were the turtle experts. I imagine it went something like this when they called it in.

“Code Green. Code Green. We have turtles out of ponds.” “I repeat. We have displaced turtles on the loose.” “Evacuate the area for incoming turtle experts.” “Code Green. Code Green. Turtle experts are on their way.”

Not that removing a turtle for a little racing is not something I would put past myself in a state of New Year’s Eve inebriation. Let’s not forget the T.I. incident of 2009. Or the Red Headed Ravaging of 2006. It’s New Year’s, things get a little crazy. Which is why it rubbed salt in my already irritated cut of being trapped working on such a day. But I brought it on myself. Why? Because this is 2011. The year of zero’s.

By this time next year I hope to be the proud owner of:
1.Two credit cards with a balance of ZERO.
2.One 2008 Ford Focus on which the remaining balance is ZERO.
3.A student loan payment on which I owe ZERO.
4.Another student loan payment on which there are less ZEROs.
5.ZERO car accidents or traffic tickets.
6.And ZERO regret about the fact that I didn’t save up enough money to go to Europe this summer

So here we go, a year of zero’s. But next New Year’s Eve, watch out turtles. Because here I come.